Michael Stipe's Teeny Hole just doesn't have the same ring to it

Poor Moby!

Moby says, "I've had fans run down the street after me, screaming how much they love my music. When I proudly sign my autograph they look up crushed and shout out, 'But you're not Michael Stipe!' Michael Stipe told me that he has had the same experience when fans thought he was me. Us little bald white guys get mistaken all the time for each other."

K. Middy part deux

Hairy Teacup (poodle)

Hairy Teacup Poodle, in a teacup!!!!!!!

At least now I know where all my guac went!

Body Guac

Def not how we do it at HED's

Who am I kidding?

Who needs a champagne room? We have the Body Guac Room!

This ladies and gents, is how you ensure that the night ends with a hairy teacup!

The ManniPenny Sacajmama Magna Carta

Hear Ye, Hear Ye! These be the official rules of ManniPenny Junction.

Coming soon, the official license plate slogan:
"You know what happens at sunset? We drink"

Article One of the Manni Penny Sacajmama Magna Carta (in order of creation)

1. The green John Deer riding mower belongs to HED










2. Team Ridic is riding up the street on their Harleys.
3. Jarett is being interviewed by E!
4. There shall be no cars or trains in MPJ; only tractors, motorcycles and hoverboards.
5. Owls shall deliver the mail.
6. HED gets a hovercart for her birthday.
7. Jen is looking out her office window above Wondee Siam III.
8. Cait is talking to James and Woody under the tree.
9. There is no soda allowed in MPJ, only club soda for the vodka.
10. There is an avacado farm in town to supply HED's Gucamole Hut.
11. The only beverage served by HED's is Ecto-Cooler.













12. The "Hairy Teacup" is the official sexual position of MPJ.
13. There are no paramedics...there are only Parrot-Medics.

If you didn't bring enough to share...

The modern workplace is a bit of a jungle. We work in spaces divided by glorified card board boxes and attempt to personalize our areas with knick knacks and photos. However, I feel that some people have become too comfortable and take cubicles as real concrete dividers. So to those on the other side of the wall:

• No, I don't want to know what you're going to do to your wife/girlfriend as soon as you get home.
  
• Your mother is such a nag, she's bugging me and I'm not even on the phone with her. You're the only one with the genetic power to shut her up.
  
• Stop talking about getting stoned unless you've brought some for the rest of the class.
  
• You may think speaker phone is convenient, but your life isn't that interesting...and we all can hear it.
  
• And the list I'm sure will grow, just like my inability to keep from launching through the wall like Chris Farley on speed.

Blind Dates can be tough

you know when you go on a blind date and you totally stress out right before the person arrives? well, i heard it happened recently but it turned out well for him (say "phew" and mime wiping your forehead) but sometimes it works out like this

Man-hands is so 2004

Everyone remembers the episode of Seinfeld where Jerry dumps the girl for having "Man-hands", right? Well, the coolest freaky hand disorder right now is suffering from "small hands". And no, this doesn't refer to the hands belonging to a lovely lady named Smalls, it's the condition that afflict literally tens of men a year, wherein they have normal sized bodies and freakishly small hands. As an example, I have a friend who went on a date with the guy who suffered from this affliction and she took this photo of her holding her dates hand to give you an idea of what it looks like

ManniPenny Junction

Elvis has left the building!

I understand that there are a large number of people in the US and abroad who have this inner drive to impersonate Elvis. However, should you feel this urge, do NOT think purchasing this mask will help you on this quest. Elvis is rolling in his grave for the first time since that little stunt his daughter pulled marrying Michael 'It's Hyper-Pigmentation' Jackson.