Shish kabob anyone?

HED steals babies and cooks them.....shiska baby!!!

You Sir, are no Beverly Wonkette

It appears that the gorgeous Beverly Wonkette has started a trend. Her ads, offering blowjobs in exchange for a Chloe bag were a big hit (especially with the lucky winner!) and now it seems that other people are getting in on the act too! This guy means BUSINESS!

i will blow you for genesis tickets

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Date: 2007-09-26, 4:20PM EDT

hi there. i'm sure that if you're someone who is in possession of disposable tickets for the genesis show at giants stadium on the 27th, you're getting inundated with offers for them. predictably, there exists an substantial and understandable demand for tickets at this point. genesis is, after all, the originators of moody, simple, keyboard-driven melodies. that's why they call themselves genesis...because it means "the beginning." in biblical terms mind you! who didn't get moist the first time they heard "invisible touch?" i sure did. i passed what felt like fucking zimbabwe through my cock when i first heard that song. so i'm sure you'll understand why i'm making the offer that i'm about to make for your tickets.

i will blow you, or a loved one of your choosing for that matter, for genesis tickets.

now, before i go any further, let me explain something...I'M NOT GAY! seriously, i bang broads all the time. i just got done banging a broad! in the ass no less! dudes ain't my thing. never have been, never will. oh, well, there was this one time with my frat brother trey back in college...we did waaay too many lemondrop shots over at pete's brew barn and wound up back at the frat house masturbating in front of each other. BUT WE NEVER TOUCHED EACH OTHER!

so i reiterate...i'm not gay. i just so desperately want to hear phil collins bray "pseu-pseu pseudio" into the mic in front of 65,000 other rabid genesis fans THAT BAD!

maybe you've never been blown by a dude before and have some reservations? certainly, that's understandable. but then again, neither have i been with a dude. so it'll be cool! what i have been with are plenty of broads and they just love what i can do down there. i've even been told that i should get paid for my cunnilingus skills, that perhaps i should offer cunnilingus therapy or something. i've also been told that i have a soft, warm mouth. i imagine that sticking your dick in my mouth would be akin to wrapping yourself into a warm electric blanket on a sub-zero winter night. maybe you're a little too freaked out by this proposal? perhaps you've got a little brother or a nephew that you think could use some prick-plunging? i'd be willing to blow you or them...hell i'd be willing to blow both of you!!!

i want these tickets THAT BAD. and again, I'M NOT GAY!

if you're a girl who is looking to unload some tickets, the offer stands to you as well. i will perform oral on you AND your boyfriend/husband. we can even play "in the air tonight" as mood music!

so...what do ya say?!?!?

Good Question, Good Answer

Smalls: OMG, it's International Talk Like a Pirate Day

J-Dub: SWEET! Arrrgh!

Smalls: Ha Ha, shiver me timbers!! Do I have timbers?
J-Dub: Yea, you have lady timbers

Prohibited from performing the chest bump

OH YEAH!

The handshake has officially been replaced by the chest bump. Please make all necessary changes to remain inline with this new legislation.