MPJ's official 'Head of Hair'

Wait, you want to put what where??!

"I think I'll go upstairs now..."

Was it absolutely vital to share that?

Lady: Excuse me, I have to go Nair my asshole

Separated at birth?

Oompa, loompa, doompa de blorange
Use too much self-tanner, you'll wind up orange

Oompa loompa doompa de blerker
You'll end up gossiped about by a co-worker

Poof!

The Official Town Magician of MPJ for the last 20 years

"We love him!"-MPJ's Lordess WondeeAre you looking for a good time? Do illusions turn you on? Then call Moneypenny the Magician! He will make coins appear from your ears and ears appear from your hoo! It will literally blow your mind! (but not your wallet)

Call now! 800-MON-YPEN

Fact

If HED gets one lovah for every night of the week, Shia gets Saturday--because he doesn't have school