A post from the future!

A solar eclipse occurred in the town of ManiPenny Junction during the year 2015, giving all original residents unusual super powers (we're told it has something to do with coconut milk consumption). In an effort to prepare you to master aforementioned powers, the ManiPenny Junction PTA has sent this message back through space and time to alert you of the gifts that will receive.

Jennifer "Lordess Wondee": She can hypnotize evil do-ers with her ta-ta charms and if captured by the enemy, she is able to transform into a whitefish and escape.

Jarett "Tidbits": Since he is in the MPJ library when the solar eclipse occurs, he absorbs all knowledge simply through a touch. He can also drain information from an enemy’s brain by putting on fingerless gloves and touching their temples.

"HED": Possesses the ability to shoot guacamole and their pits out of her hands to blind attackers, much the way Spider-man does. (The pits will not only cause bodily harm, but they allow the guacamole to stay fresh longer)

Alison "Smallerina": Becomes the eyes and ears of MPJ. She can shrink herself down to 1 inch tall and obtain access to any government facility.

"Devious Honey C. Quick": Is given the ability to create a sonic boom with just her voice. While the sound is deafening to all who don't belong to the MPJ Heroes league, bystander accounts confirm that once the sound is heard it turns the victims brains to mush, reducing them to quivering invalids who can only mumble, "Flavor Flav"

The Heroes of ManiPenny Junction aren't the only ones who are given super powers. The team has to unite to fight the evil Lord Leo of the Nardo and his Ninja Force. As it turns out, it is not difficult to defeat Lord Leo because he is simply an oversized cunt.

The battle cry of the ManiPenny Junction Avengers is, "WHAT'S IN MY HOO?"