Ammendment to the ManniPenny Bill of Writes

All those citizens of ManniPenny junction with a legal given name of Richard will heretoforth be referred to by the name Dick. Any citizen disputing this ammendment may be asked to leave ManniPenny Junction. Excommunication from MPJ can only occur after an official good-bye ceremony, which begins with the soon-to-be-ex citizen placing their hand on the Yellow Pages and uttering this oath:
"I swear on this phone directory that I am not a Dick, nor have I ever been a Dick, nor plan to be a Dick in future." The departing citizen will then be taken to the ManniPenny Junction border station and given a full set of stationary, golf ware and L.L. Bean backpacks monogrammed with 'Dick' and will be escorted over the border with no return ticket.